Father's Day Reflections from NICU Dads

Embracing the Unexpected

Seb, dad to baby Oscar, shares, “What I wish I had known is that the journey into fatherhood doesn’t always go to plan, and that’s OK. The early months can be incredibly challenging, but they also teach you what’s truly important. Seeing your child grow stronger each day is something I’ll never take for granted, and I’m thankful for everyone who helped us along the way.”

Another NICU dad reflects, “Being a parent is extremely rewarding, though it does have its challenges. Like anything in life, it can build you up and knock you down. Be accepting and forgiving of yourself; we all do the best we can at all times. Recognise your unique self; no one else can be you but you.”

“The most important thing to remember is your mindset is extremely powerful; if possible, take time for yourself, five minutes a day, to invite that calm, peace and tranquillity in yourself before continuing on. Know that you are incredible, amazing, infinitely strong and well supported; you need only to believe for it to be your reality.”

Trusting the Neonatal Team

Jimmy, father to twins Ruby and Scarlett, reflects on his experience: “Scarlett and Ruby were born by emergency C-section at 27+2 and admitted to the NICU on ventilators at King’s College Hospital. Ruby was 750g and overcame suspected NEC (Necrotising Enterocolitis, a severe intestinal disease) and meningitis, working her way through the High-Dependency Unit (HDU) and Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) and coming home still tiny but without home oxygen. Her sister Scarlett made it home too, seven months later. I wish I’d known that the NICU staff would care about our babies as much as we did. At first, it was hard to trust them with anyone, but these uniformed strangers became amazing carers for our little guys.”

The Power of Presence

Tom, founder of @anotherNICUdad, reminds us, “If you’re spending Father’s Day on a neonatal ward, it probably isn’t where you imagined you’d be. But your baby doesn’t know what day it is — they just know your voice, your touch, and your presence. Even on the hardest days, those things matter more than you realise. You’re doing brilliantly. You got this!”

Rob offers insight into the emotional connection with his baby: “I wish I had understood earlier that talking to Sophie was comforting rather than hurting her… nobody told me that her machines beeping meant she heard me and was reacting to my voice.”

The Emotional NICU Rollercoaster

Nathan, dad to Phoebe, shares his journey: “When our daughter Phoebe was born at 26 weeks and 6 days, our imagined future was shattered. Spending three months in the Princess Anne NICU was a strange, traumatic rollercoaster, from hopelessness when Phoebe’s lungs collapsed, to being inspired by the unbelievable doctors and nurses. During those dark days, the Ickle Pickles charity was a true lifeline.

Their campaigns shine a light on the aspects of neonatal life that people simply do not think about unless they have lived it. Seeing the tangible support the charity provided at Princess Anne four years ago, like funding things like kangaroo chairs that allowed parents to hold fragile babies close

Beyond the physical equipment, the online stories and resources provided by Ickle Pickles are a warm, welcoming source of information and reassurance that keep spirits high during the lowest points. This incredible charity provides both the practical tools and the emotional strength families need to keep going.”

Chris learned the importance of asking questions: “I wish I’d known that it was ok to ask lots of questions. It was ok to not know all of the answers and to learn how I, my children’s dad, could also care for my tiny babies that were being cared for by a medical team. I felt more able to help my children with their day-to-day needs as their daddy, just like I would if we were at home.

Feeding, nappy changes, getting them dressed. These are moments I may have missed if I hadn’t asked some questions.”

Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Andi Tamplin, dad to Jack, reflects, “What I wish I had known is that even though our NICU journey lasted only three weeks, it can still feel like a lifetime when your whole world fits inside an incubator. Emotions could be so powerful: the first touch, the first cuddle, the first smile — each one triggering happy tears and memories that will stay with me forever.”

Matthew describes the complex emotions of NICU life with his baby Keifer: “What I wish I’d known before becoming a NICU Dad was how scared, full of joy, and alone you’d feel when by yourself next to the incubator in a darkened intensive care ward, being separated from your partner and confronted with the reality that there was the strongest yet delicate life that could be snatched away from you at any moment breathing amongst the beeps and tubes behind 4mm of plastic.”

Connecting with Other NICU Dads

For dads seeking support and connection, the “otherNICUdads” WhatsApp group offers a lifeline. Founded by Tom with support from the Ickle Pickles, this group provides a local community for dads navigating the NICU journey. Whether you’re still in the thick of it or have moved beyond, the group welcomes you with open arms. 

To join, contact Tom at tom@icklepickles.org or call 07809729862. Together, we can support one another through the unique experience of NICU fatherhood.

On Father’s Day, Ickle Pickles shares this video of NICU dads with heartfelt reflections on their journey in the NICU to remind dads that they are not alone: